Today is Tuesday, first day back to school after Christmas break.
What a hard day. Even after 3 years.
Why are we going back to school?
Why is everyone moving on day to day like there is nothing wrong in my life. I was having a very emotional day today. Wondering why? I want to cry at every little thing. I couldn't find my debit card and looked in Daryls coat pocket. It is what I needed to let the flood flow and get some relief.
I do believe tears are a healing tool.
There was a note in Daryl's pocket, it was what he wrote to say to the 100 people that attended the Suicide Prevention Session we had at school before Christmas. He never got to read it, he said after I got done speaking that he couldn't do anymore than what I said. I got to read his note today.
(My name is Daryl Hutson, my wife is Lee Ann and sons Trent and Greg. Our son Greg died of suicide in Sept. of 2005. How does it affect me? I have a hole in my heart that never heals. I hurt every single day. I have to do something no man should have to do. I weedeat around my son's grave. The pain never leaves.)
I love you Daryl, your pain is my pain.
Needs, Wishes and Regrets
9 years ago
1 comment:
Dear friends,
I am so sorry for your pain. Of course, we all hurt(agonize) differently, but we know the depth goes far beyond our description.
I love the way you two love each other. Jae's death brought Ralph and I so close that nothing could ever part us. There is no one else who understands "losing Jae". I'm glad Christmas was a bit better for you. Just think,...we are years closer to Heaven!!
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