Sadness, Honesty and Laughter

I ran into a friend today, her son died on April 9th 2006. Everytime we see each other it is a breath of fresh air. We always ask "How have you been?" And we are honest with our answers. We do not have to fake it with each other. This month her son died, it would have been my son Greg's 17th birthday. We share how we cry and how we continue to move on. We talked about crying and how it is not always sad now. It is healing tears and sweet memories.
Early on Daryl and I decided we needed to make a choice, do we exist or do we live. We have chose to live. Greg would want it this way.
I don't cry everyday. But believe me all the crying that I have done has helped me be in the place I am now. I honestly feel Greg with me every moment. I take him everywhere with me. I will always have the feeling of homesickness, sadness and hurt. That will never go away. I have just learned to mold that into my life. It has made the new me.
Greg's birthday is coming up next week and we will celebrate his 13 years of life. I will not be sad on the 29th. We will tell stories about Greg, there are so many to tell, and I promise there will be tears of laughter.
Not everyone can do this. It is a choice each of us has to make. I know my son would be furious if I sit and cried all the time. I choose to help others and in doing so helps me. Everything I do is in Greg's memory. Here is a hint, if you have not done this, try it. Next time you go through the drive-thru, pay for the car behind you. I tell the clerk," I don't know them but I am paying for their order, and tell them to just laugh. Everytime I do it, I hear Greg laughing and hopefully made someone's day brighter.
Lee ann Hutson